Blood on my Lips
by Claire5
Summary: Scully hears of a case in which Mulder is personally affected. And while he finds himself between life and death once again, she does her best to bring him back…and a bit more!
1. Blood on my lips

Title: Blood on my Lips Author: Claire Rating: PG Classification: Angst, Dark MSR Summary: Scully hears of a case in which Mulder is personally affected. And while he finds himself between life and death once again, she does her best to bring him back.and a bit more! Spoilers: Maybe a little taste from "Pusher"/ Sets during Season 5. Disclaimer: Even if I would love them to be mine, unfortunately they're not.I'm just playing with them ;)  
  
Author's notes: Hey, you all! I'm new here, and this is my first fanfiction in English (I'm French.) so try to be kind with me even if I KNOW I made hooooooooorribles mistakes. Really sorry for the ones who love grammar and spelling. I hope you will enjoy the ride, though. Waiting for you in my mail-box!! Send me your feedbacks at spookyeldarion@club-internet.fr  
Montana State, March 1998 :  
  
She was on the spot as soon as she was told, the muddy roads considerably reducing her speed. She hadn't cooled off during the ride, even if she knew that she had to concentrate on the road, endangered by the swellings. She was mad at Skinner for his quietness toward the case, mad at Mulder who had hidden its more than possible exposure to harm, and she was mad at herself not to have realized what was happening sooner. She remembered those previous days : Mulder wasn't honest with her, he had tried to put more distance between them, and changed constantly the subject of their conversation every time it hit too close of what he was hiding from her. However, before everything started, she had felt closer to him than she had ever felt previously. As soon as she was home after work, she missed her partner's presence, and she usually ended by picking up the phone and dialling his number. Sometimes, he even called her, while she was trying to think about something else. First, they would speak of their current case, so as to give themselves a "professional" reason. But they would quickly diverge from their first aim, and find themselves chatting about a great different kind of subjects such as stupid things like weather, cinema or even the new biochemical's discovery. When blanks appeared in their conversation, they both knew that it meant they had gone too far, or too close to something they didn't dared touch (yet, she secretly hoped). But while she was remembering Mulder's look when she had the pleasure to come across him recently, she feared her wish never to be granted. Every times he walked in their office in the evening last week, he didn't seem to realize that she hopefully waited for him to talk to her. "Are you OK, Mulder ?" she asked him every time, expecting him to confide in her. "I'm fine." he answered unflaggingly. "I'm tired, that's all..." he sometimes added. And she could perfectly see his fatigue in his golden-green eyes. An immeasurable weariness, that even sleep couldn't erase. Anyway, she thought, he probably didn't even sleep. And it was always the same when they were on a difficult case: Mulder could find no rest. But today, he was all alone on this one, and she wasn't here in order to find where that crushing. tiredness came from. She was able to see something more in his eyes, something different: fear. Fear that chilled her to the core when she dared see through his invisible layers of protection. He looked like a child, who had made an awfully scary nightmare. She had the feeling that this fear could break the surface anytime from his eyes, becoming tears. But as usual, he kept his emotions deep inside, making them unreachable, until something else would crash against him, breaking him in a thousand pieces. But she would be there, the day fear would show, she would be there to hold him and rock him long enough for his sobs to subside.  
  
Right now though, she had to go to the place Skinner had had indicated her few hours before. It had been hard for her to find information about the case Mulder had been enrolled in. A man that he had made arrested nine years ago was in question. That guy had hung himself in his cell a few months back. Unfortunately for the PD and the FBI (but mostly unfortunately for Fox Mulder.) that man had a brother, an anvenger one of course, who had also spent quite some time behind prison's bars. Scully had read his profile : violent, impulsive, unforeseeable. Mulder had had seen so much like him, while he worked in the Violent Crime Department.  
  
When she finally parked her car, she caught a glimpse of PD vehicles and an ambulance stopped. She rushed there and checked that no one was inside, then headed for Skinner who had been waving at her. The atmosphere was heavy, and sticky. Everybody could feel the storm coming, but nobody had the slightest idea what form it will take. "Where is he ?" she asked before reaching her boss. He looked intently at her for a moment, noting apprehension on her face. "In here." he answered without breaking eyes contact, and reaching toward the rock he was leaning on, as well as other agents and a SWAT team heavily armed. "What do you mean?" she asked, watching the mountain facing her. Witnessing her arching her eyebrows and losing her patience, he thought better of it, and preferred explaining to her the whole situation. "There is a cave, built inside that rock. Jones and Mulder are inside, as well as the hostages." "He is alone with him?!" she almost yelled at her boss, almost. "He said he would only talk to him." he added quietly, trying to calm her down. "And you just sent him in, against that guy ready to do anything in order to avenge his brother! Don't you realize that this is probably a trap, and that Mulder has gladly fallen into it ?!" "Nothing is going to happen to him, don't worry. He is well-prepared : he has an Infra-Red camera and a bullet-proof Kevlar, we can follow his whereabouts from here, and warn him if he is attacked." he quickly tried to explain to Agent Scully, before she started panicking. She couldn't find the words to say, for all her thoughts were fixed on Mulder, who was underneath the mountain. She didn't doubt a second his ingenuity and professionalism he showed in that type of extreme situation, but she couldn't erase the image of her partner's weary and fearful look the last few days. She couldn't possibly remain standing there, waiting for something to happen. So close and so far from him in the same time. A wall was dividing them, and she didn't know if she was suppose to cross it, just like the one that enable her to take a step in their relationship.  
  
She was cut from her reverie by a SWAT's agent, who was looking at the small black and white screen perched on a plastic table. "He found the hostages!" he shouted Numerous agents neared the scene, and Scully and Skinner found themselves on the first line for the show. On the image they could see two people, tied up and gagged. Scully felt chills ran down her spin as she saw Mulder's hands set them free. But she witnessed him stop dead in his tracks, and turning back very slowly. "Mulder, no !!" He was facing Jones, who was pointing a gun at him, smiling maliciously. "Hurry! Send someone!" she screamed, trying to run toward the entrance of the cave, she wanted to break the wall dividing her from Mulder, but Skinner's arm gripped her back. "Agent Scully, please, do not lose your self-control. We can not make a move, not yet, it would be too dangerous for the hostages." Scully could feel rage tears on her cheeks, she couldn't stand the fact that Skinner was right, and that she was helpless. She glanced at the screen, while the first drops of rain were starting to fall. The image was moving at the same speed as Mulder's heart beat : it was fast, and she could feel hers banging almost as fast. A few seconds elapsed before one of them made a move, but Mulder reacted first, running toward a less lighten spot in the cave. The image got blurred, and it became impossible to make out anything.  
  
"What happened ?" the SWAT agent asked himself aloud. "He switched off the camera, " explained the technician, "it produces light, he's trying to hide." Lots of agents couldn't understand why he did such a thing, but the ones who knew him best, like Skinner or Scully, knew that he wanted to be alone for this face to face, without anyone interrupting. Muder's stenght in such a situation resided in his speech, she witnessed him numerous times persuade a killer to drop his weapon, using only words. But in Jones's eyes, she saw that words wouldn't be sufficient to stop him. She jumped when she thought she had heard a gun-shot, whereas it was only thunder. She closed her eyes, and could feel her fear growing. Now, rain was pouring, but nothing could have make her move.until. Another blast exploded, and there was no doubts of its origin, it was indeed a gun-shot. It was very closely followed by another one, but coming from another gun. They both shot. thought Scully. She didn't know what to do of this information, she could see that the SWAT team was running toward the cave, and she finally realized what was happening: He shot Mulder.  
  
Without registering Skinner calling her, the SWAT agents she overtook, the thunder and the rain blurring her view, she ran. She felt as if her heart wasn't beating at all for it was banging too fast, she ran into the dark cave, tears melting with rain-drops on her cheeks. Her feet were not touching the ground anymore when she arrived where the hostages lay. She checked their pulses: they were alive. She swallowed hard, thinking about Mulder, and started to run again. She stumbled on something but managed to keep her balance. She couldn't hear the other agents coming, because all her senses were fixed on Mulder, and nothing else, but she saw light in a tunnel. As a consequence, she discovered on what or who she had previously stumbled on. She held her breath, but it wasn't Mulder, this man was smaller. But she however realized that this man was dead, a bullet in the back of his neck. She stood so as to keep on running, she had a bitter taste in her mouth, and it was becoming more and more difficult to breath.  
  
That's when she saw him, in the back of the cave, more or less leaning against the rock and faintly lighten by the spotlights of the SWAT team coming. She staggered in his direction, noting that his white T-Shirt was covered with blood. "Mulder..." she whispered, more for herself than for her partner. Her throat was obstructed by something heavy, and she didn't try to speak more. There was a bullet-hole in his shoulder, but blood was covering his entire left-side. She came as close as she could, and put her palm on his wound, trying to slow down the haemorrhage that was killing him. The sudden pain opened his eyes, Scully read only suffering in them, and a kind of eagerness: he was waiting for all of that to get to an end. "Mulder," she said again, smoothing his damp hair with her free hand; he was weak, and couldn't breath properly. She turned and screamed as loud as her throat enable her: "Call the paramedics! He's alive !!" For how long. she thought. The bullet had exited his body, but had apparently gone through his left-lung. She tried not to think about it, and leaned closer to Mulder who was coughing. She saw blood coming to his mouth and lips, and she dried it gently with her thumb. Breathing had become almost unbearable, and he had close his eyes again. "You're not allowed to do that, Mulder..." she whispered to his ear. "You can't go like that, not you.not after all we've been through together, after all we've shared. It's too soon, Mulder.we didn't have enough time to tell each other everything, it shouldn't, it mustn't end like that for us."  
  
She heard him moan, as if he was trying to tell her something. She touched his too cold cheek tenderly. "You can't give up on me. You have to hold on. Paramedics are coming, you're gonna be okay!" She had the feeling that her speech sounded false, but she held tight on that thin tread. She thanked God for every seconds given to Mulder, when she could feel his chest slightly rising. He re-opened his eyes with great difficulty, and stared at her. She was listening to the thunder growing with strength and rage outside, and the close steps of the agents who were shouting. But between her and Mulder, a heavy silence reigned, and she knew by watching at his feverish eyes that she had to speak quickly, because he wouldn't stay conscious very long like this. "Mulder, I won't let another wall dividing us, you have to hear what I'm going to say." words came with difficulty, but she had realized that she would maybe never have the chance to say them to him again. "I love you, Mulder...you have to hold on and stay with me because I love you, and because it would be unfair if you left me now." Scully saw then something forming on his lips, a smile. It was almost invisible, but Scully distinguished it immediately because she realized that this simple gesture must have cost him a lot, giving the pain he was in. She saw again blood slipping from his lips, and this time, instead of using her thumb to dry it, she preferred brushing briefly her lips to his, so as to share his pain for a short time.  
  
Paramedics arrived then, pushing her gently aside of Mulder who had closed his eyes once again, but who had kept that small smile in the corner of his lips. While they were carrying him outside, she felt his blood on her lips. Very close to each other, but still too far. Outside, it was dark, and rain had kept on falling all along. A powerful lightning illuminated the entire scene. She hadn't jumped hearing it, but she felt Skinner's hand on her shoulder. She didn't understand what he was saying, but easily picked the word "hospital". She followed him to his car and they drove in silence.  
  
She was wondering if maybe she had fallen asleep during the ride, because Skinner had to touch her shoulder again whereas their car was stopped, and ambulances lights were blaring in front of her eyes. It was impossible for her to make out Skinner's words in the hospital hall, when all the sound surrounding her were covered, detached from their belonging. She faced a glass-door, where she stopped: she wasn't allowed to cross it, but anyway she could see Mulder through it. One more wall dividing us. she thought. They had removed his bloody T-shirt, and were busy treating his wound. They were trying to stabilise him before sending him to the operating room. She opened her mouth, but no sound came, when she heard the alarm signal motioning the doctors that his heart wasn't pumping blood anymore. Painful fresh tears covered the older dried ones, and she wished she were able no to see what was happening, but she had to. Every time Mulder's body raised from the gurney after he had been chocked, she could feel her own heart detaching himself little by little. When she had finally closed her eyes, fearing the worst, a beep woke her up from her nightmare: he was breathing. She could hear him moaning in pain, taking deep breaths. His chest was moving untiringly, before finally finding its rhythm. He was gripping the gurney's bars but let them go when the morphine eventually calmed him. The doctors were still busy around him, but he turned his head very slowly in her direction. That took her breath away: Mulder was coughing so as to get more oxygen in his lungs and she could see in his eyes that the fear was gone, replaced by a tiredness tainted with a spark of joy. He was smiling again, like he did, back in the dark cave, but this smile was clearer, carrying much more hope. Scully had no choice but to do the same: He's alive. she couldn't stop herself from saying in her head.  
  
Once again she would hold him and rock him, but they would then have a bit more to share.  
  
FIN  
  
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Author's notes : That's it! Sorry if you found it a bit too easy in the end but eh! I won't let Mulder die! I don't know yet if I'll will write more about this story.you have to let me know that!! I hope you had fun, because I did!  
  
Claire 


	2. Someone at the door

Title: Someone at the door Author: Claire Rating: PG Classification: Vignette / MSR Summary: There's someone at Mulder's door. Spoilers: Pilot Episode / Set after "Blood on my lips", but you'll understand this story even if you haven't read it. Disclaimer: Not mine...(too bad!)  
  
Author's notes: This is my second fanfic in English (I'm French) but as someone VERY kind (thank you SO much Abi...) has read it and corrected it before I posted it, you won't find any mistakes this time! (I hope...) Your feedbacks are warmly welcomed at: spookyeldarion@club- internet.fr  
Two days later.  
There was a knock at the door. Lying on his couch, flipping aimlessly through the channels, Fox was tempted to just ask whoever it was to come in. He had two little problems though: first, the door was locked, and as a consequence his visitor was totally unable to obey his request; secondly, he knew perfectly who that visitor was, but he had been dreading her arrival ever since he had come back from the hospital on his own.  
  
So he had in fact a couple of solutions: either he didn't respond and wouldn't have to get up and open the damned door, or .well, he could simply open it. Whatever solution he chose, he knew that she would be inside in less than a minute. That left him a too little time to think it over.  
  
He had realized for some time now that their relationship was progressing to a new level.in fact it all started five years ago when he had told her about his sister in that motel room. Images flashed before him of all the tenderness they shared afterward: a tenderness almost always tainted with hurt, guilt, grief or despair; just like in that cave a couple of nights back.  
  
He remembered briefly the look on her face, when all of the darkness surrounded them. He could still feel her hand pressing fiercely on his bloody, life-threatening wound: he gasped at that thought, for the pain was still present in his chest. He could also still picture her other hand smoothing his damp hair or cold cheeks. Then he remembered her words to him, so clearly that it was almost as if she was there, saying them again and again. "You can't leave me Mulder.that wouldn't be fair.I love you." He was unable to recollect much after that, only that he had drifted into peaceful slumber, lulled there by the sound of her voice. Then he felt her lips briefly brushing his own and tasting his hot blood filling his mouth. Everything went dark after that, and oh so painful. His body quivered when he replayed his awakening from the dead on that hospital gurney. His lungs and chest were burning, and the pain was so harsh and sharp that he couldn't breath without his body jerking. When finally air filled him, it was only to discover that he couldn't get enough oxygen in his body and that scared him. He couldn't calm down, but he was able to steal a glance at a very pale and very shocked Scully behind the glass windows of the emergency room before a mask was placed on his mouth.  
  
He woke up beside her, but his pain and tiredness made him unable to tell her all the things that he felt the urge to say. And so she left, after having kissed his brow and almost ordering him to get some rest: which he did, longer than he thought he was able to, given the circumstances.  
  
And now she was behind his door, wondering if she would have to use her key to enter. He couldn't be anywhere but in his apartment, his wound probably still forcing him to lay down most of the time. She easily pictured him on his couch, floating somewhere in between slumber and consciousness.  
  
At first, she had been mad at him for leaving the hospital alone and without her knowledge; but after having spent a few hours looking for a reason, she thought she could understand his reaction: he was scared. Mulder was scared and unprepared for what was happening between them. She couldn't possibly blame him for that, not after all the disastrous serious relationships he'd had. It was not surprising for him to take a step back. She desperately wanted to make him feel loved, wanted and desired, despite all the things he blamed himself for.  
  
She was still deep in thought when the door was opened. He was standing there in front of her in a rumpled grey T-shirt, a pair of sweats, unshaven and with his hair tousled. She couldn't resist and said: "You look cute." He furrowed his brow, which made her smile. As he didn't know what to say or do, he simply smiled back.  
  
"Well." she thought as he was letting her in ".this won't be easy."  
  
FIN  
Well??? What did you think of chapter 2??? Should I carry on? Just let me know. 


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